I also hate it when I write things on here, then people try to confront me about it. No. I understand you’re being nice. But, just because I wrote down my feelings in a public place doesn’t mean I want to elaborate on them with you.
I hate making deep, personal posts on here. But, I have no where else to vent. I really can’t stand being alive anymore. I don’t see a point in anything. Each day I wake up, I’m tortured. As soon as I open my eyes, I’m processing numbers and thinking about different ways to die. Counting calories, numbers on a scale, the number of bites I need to take, how many hours I shouldn’t eat, getting hit by a train, slicing open my wrists, black out drinking, shooting myself. I can’t take it anymore. I’m being consumed by my negative thoughts. I can’t remember the last time I genuinely felt happy without drugs. I’m so triggered right now.
Drinking hot chocolate, trying to get over this feeling of wanting to die.